As far as updates go, there isn't much to report.
I do have an upcoming appointment (July 15th) at the cancer clinic with my oncologist, Dr. Ernst. Whom by the way, I just adore. He is such a fantastic doctor. Him and his back up, Dr. Shearer (spelling?). They're both amazing.
I can never get over the people I come in contact with at the cancer clinic. The nurses, receptionists, the custodians, every single one of them, are all so incredible. Everyone seems to come to work with such a happy and positive attitude. They all make me aspire to be more like them.
To be honest, I've been to many therapists and psychiatrists throughout my life, but the only ones I've met who actually try to understand me and my problems properly are the ones at the clinic. I even have a social worker there who I can't say enough about. She has done more for me in the last 2 years than many people in my life have done in the last 26.
These are all the most inspiring people I've ever known and rather than dreading appointments at the cancer clinic, I look forward to it. Sometimes I even make excuses to go there just so I can pop in and say hello. Mind you, I am also the same person who loves my dentist (but really.. he is fan-fucking-tastic). I encourage anyone who doesn't like dentists in the slightest to go see mine, and I am 100% sure he will change your mind for life (ask my husband).
So there you have it. That's my update. Work is great, kids are wonderful (actually, even more than wonderful) and my husband is just so great. I know I'm totally bragging, but I've gotta say, there isn't a lot of time in my life where I've been able to brag and be totally justified in it! :)
Today, I am totally happily ever after! :)
Monday, July 4, 2011
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Sometimes We Forget
Sometimes we forget the small things that make us happy.
Sometimes we forget that there really are people out there who care about us.
Sometimes we forget to appreciate the things in our life that make us happy.
Sometimes we forget to say "I love you!", "I missed you!" or "Thank you!".
Sometimes we forget that we aren't the only ones in the world with problems.
Sometimes we forget to make someones day a little brighter by just smiling at a stranger.
Sometimes we forget that being rude to someone else isn't going to make us feel better.
Sometimes we forget that life is constantly going to change.
Sometimes we forget to keep thinking positively.
We should always remember. Be happy. Think positively. Things will always get better if you try.
xo
Sometimes we forget that there really are people out there who care about us.
Sometimes we forget to appreciate the things in our life that make us happy.
Sometimes we forget to say "I love you!", "I missed you!" or "Thank you!".
Sometimes we forget that we aren't the only ones in the world with problems.
Sometimes we forget to make someones day a little brighter by just smiling at a stranger.
Sometimes we forget that being rude to someone else isn't going to make us feel better.
Sometimes we forget that life is constantly going to change.
Sometimes we forget to keep thinking positively.
We should always remember. Be happy. Think positively. Things will always get better if you try.
xo
Quick Update
Things are going quite well for the most part. Financially we are in a bind, but I know we will get through it.
I've been working retail instead of a call center which is much easier on the emotions. I've been excelling at my new job which has been a great boost to the self-esteem which is giving me more hours, but am still part time which is perfect.
I've been put on an anti-depressant that should be helpful since I wasn't able to pull myself out of my post-chemo depression. I still have very little energy, but it does seem to be increasing slightly as the days go by.
I'm enjoying my walks to work and my days off with the kiddos. They really make my days brighter.
Once everything gets really back in order (I hate to brag but...) I will have the perfect little life. Though, my husband will disagree until we move back out to the mountains. He has a countdown on our kitchen whiteboard and apparently we are moving either to Calgary or Invermere in 331 days.
I still say we need more equity on the house, but he says it would be more lucrative for him to be working out west. I think it would just be better for him mentally as he misses the lifestyle out there more than anything. We shall see what the future holds.
I've been working retail instead of a call center which is much easier on the emotions. I've been excelling at my new job which has been a great boost to the self-esteem which is giving me more hours, but am still part time which is perfect.
I've been put on an anti-depressant that should be helpful since I wasn't able to pull myself out of my post-chemo depression. I still have very little energy, but it does seem to be increasing slightly as the days go by.
I'm enjoying my walks to work and my days off with the kiddos. They really make my days brighter.
Once everything gets really back in order (I hate to brag but...) I will have the perfect little life. Though, my husband will disagree until we move back out to the mountains. He has a countdown on our kitchen whiteboard and apparently we are moving either to Calgary or Invermere in 331 days.
I still say we need more equity on the house, but he says it would be more lucrative for him to be working out west. I think it would just be better for him mentally as he misses the lifestyle out there more than anything. We shall see what the future holds.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
New Job. New Life.
I started working at a call center as a billing and technical support for satalitte users. It defintiely was NOT for me. It was super high pressure and super stress. I was feeling tired and overwhelmed all. the. time. The bus ride there was 1.5 hours. My schedule was set to Saturday, Sunday, Monday and Wednesday 9am- 8pm. I would have left in the morning at 7:30am and got home at 9:30pm. I would have NEVER seen my husband and almost never seen my kiddos to bed.
So, I started working at a kitchenware store at the mall down the street. Its been pretty good. Its about a 15 minute walk away and I only get a few shifts a week. I get fatigued by even just brushing my teeth. So hopefully this job is better for me. The pay is the same too, so that helps.
Not a lot of information, I know. But I will have more to update later! :-)
xo
So, I started working at a kitchenware store at the mall down the street. Its been pretty good. Its about a 15 minute walk away and I only get a few shifts a week. I get fatigued by even just brushing my teeth. So hopefully this job is better for me. The pay is the same too, so that helps.
Not a lot of information, I know. But I will have more to update later! :-)
xo
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Midnight
Tonight I've had a few glasses of French Cross Shiraz. Its not good. Well, it doesn't taste good, but boy oh boy it sure feels good. Its like a giant ball of tension and stress has been loosened up and it feels better than a sixty minute back rub.
I'm not looking forward to the morning because I will have to wake up with the girls early and be on my A game all day when I know that after a few glasses of wine I will have a head ache that lasts me 400 hours. I'll just stock up on water, coffee and aspirin as soon as I get up.
Its Thursday, so maybe I will take the girls to the OEYC playgroup at the church at 9:30.. fresh air might be a good thing tomorrow.
And yes, I know that drinking wine does not contribute to a healthy physical lifestyle but whatever. One night out of 100 is ok once in a while. Yes?
I'm not looking forward to the morning because I will have to wake up with the girls early and be on my A game all day when I know that after a few glasses of wine I will have a head ache that lasts me 400 hours. I'll just stock up on water, coffee and aspirin as soon as I get up.
Its Thursday, so maybe I will take the girls to the OEYC playgroup at the church at 9:30.. fresh air might be a good thing tomorrow.
And yes, I know that drinking wine does not contribute to a healthy physical lifestyle but whatever. One night out of 100 is ok once in a while. Yes?
Busy life = Happy life?
After lots of self-analysis, I've decided that my type of depression/anxiety is curable without medication. I mean, I'm sure I could take some magic pill (can anyone say Prozac?) that might change things and make life a little bit easier, but why take a pill when it is a lifestyle change I know that I need?
So, I am going to be putting my energy - the little bit that I have - into making myself happier and healthier. It will be tough because for the last year with treatment, my body has been acting as though its fighting off the flu so a lot has been taken out of me. But I figure that the sooner I TRY to feel better, the sooner I WILL feel better.
We all know that eating well, staying hydrated, getting enough sleep, sunlight and exercise is the best way to maintain yourself physically, but we often forget that those factors are also a huge part of your mental well-being. To add to the list, I am going to start reading more, blogging more, getting out with the kids more and cooking dinner more often. Yes, money can be a factor in what we do or what we're capable of doing, but I am going to compile a list of daily activities to do for a week on little to no money.
I'm going to jam as much as I can into the next two weeks so that when I start my new job I will hopefully feel happier and more energetic. Or, I might feel tired and ready for a break. Who knows.
So, I am going to be putting my energy - the little bit that I have - into making myself happier and healthier. It will be tough because for the last year with treatment, my body has been acting as though its fighting off the flu so a lot has been taken out of me. But I figure that the sooner I TRY to feel better, the sooner I WILL feel better.
We all know that eating well, staying hydrated, getting enough sleep, sunlight and exercise is the best way to maintain yourself physically, but we often forget that those factors are also a huge part of your mental well-being. To add to the list, I am going to start reading more, blogging more, getting out with the kids more and cooking dinner more often. Yes, money can be a factor in what we do or what we're capable of doing, but I am going to compile a list of daily activities to do for a week on little to no money.
I'm going to jam as much as I can into the next two weeks so that when I start my new job I will hopefully feel happier and more energetic. Or, I might feel tired and ready for a break. Who knows.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
The Post-Treatment Blues
So here I am. Just over a week post-treatment. I am starting to feel better but still have some residual side effects such as depression, fatigue and anxiety.
After going through this treatment (Interferon - IV for 4 weeks straight at 36 million units) at the cancer clinic, then self injections for 11 months (only 3 times a week) at home, I (in a very twisted way) feel like it had really become a part of my life. And though I'm so enthusiastic about it being done and over with, there is a small (EXTREMELY small) part of me that feels like I just lost part of myself.
Believe me, I do NOT want to feel this way. But it really just became so routine. Its like it gave me an excuse to have a crappy day and ask for help and now that I'm done, I'm supposed to feel better and feel like myself again and resume myself totally 100% now that I am not doing these shots.
After going through this treatment, I've learned that it has only improved my survival rate by 15% and has increased my chances of complete remission by only 5%. A huge part of me feels like the last year has been a waste. I know that 15% and 5% is better than 0% - so I should just get those numbers out of my head. Because that is just what they are - numbers. There is nothing I can do about the choice I made to do the treatments. All I can do is move on with my life and look at it as a life lesson that really has taught me a lot over the year.
I know my attitude has changed drastically over the course of this blog. But it really isn't that my outlook has changed, its that I am now being honest with myself.
NO! I won't be happy and positive and perky 100% of the time. I started this blog to share my journey and in doing so I just have to admit that I am human. I feel stressed and scared. I feel worried and anxious. But there is one thing that won't change - I am not scared of death. If the cancer eats away at my body, if it comes back and makes me even more sick, I know that life will carry on and though my family would miss me, they would eventually accept it. I'm not saying in the slightest that I WANT to die. I'm just saying that I know its a reality and I am willing to face that.
In the mean time, I will TRY to be happy, positive and perky. I will try to live life the way I want. I will enjoy my kids, my husband, my friends and the rest of my family with the same attitude I always have. Now that treatment is over with it will likely be a lot easier.
In other news, I am back to work at the end of the month. Its a job that I don't really want at a call center for Rogers (ya... I hate those people too and now I am going to be one of them LOL). But I think it will be a nice change for me. I really am looking forward to getting out of the house and meeting new people and getting back to a regular schedule. I know that a job is what you make of it, so I am going to start prepping myself and make myself feel like this IS the job I want and it can lead me to something greater.
Also, I had my jury duty date changed, so now I will be going in next Monday and it should be an interesting day. I hear the selection is a long and boring process and I should bring some books. I went to the library and checked out "Buddha Mom: The Path of Mindful Mothering" by Jacqueline Kramer. I have no idea if its any good so I will start reading it this week. It looks interesting though.
Anywho, off to feed the kiddos and maybe go play in the snow.
After going through this treatment (Interferon - IV for 4 weeks straight at 36 million units) at the cancer clinic, then self injections for 11 months (only 3 times a week) at home, I (in a very twisted way) feel like it had really become a part of my life. And though I'm so enthusiastic about it being done and over with, there is a small (EXTREMELY small) part of me that feels like I just lost part of myself.
Believe me, I do NOT want to feel this way. But it really just became so routine. Its like it gave me an excuse to have a crappy day and ask for help and now that I'm done, I'm supposed to feel better and feel like myself again and resume myself totally 100% now that I am not doing these shots.
After going through this treatment, I've learned that it has only improved my survival rate by 15% and has increased my chances of complete remission by only 5%. A huge part of me feels like the last year has been a waste. I know that 15% and 5% is better than 0% - so I should just get those numbers out of my head. Because that is just what they are - numbers. There is nothing I can do about the choice I made to do the treatments. All I can do is move on with my life and look at it as a life lesson that really has taught me a lot over the year.
I know my attitude has changed drastically over the course of this blog. But it really isn't that my outlook has changed, its that I am now being honest with myself.
NO! I won't be happy and positive and perky 100% of the time. I started this blog to share my journey and in doing so I just have to admit that I am human. I feel stressed and scared. I feel worried and anxious. But there is one thing that won't change - I am not scared of death. If the cancer eats away at my body, if it comes back and makes me even more sick, I know that life will carry on and though my family would miss me, they would eventually accept it. I'm not saying in the slightest that I WANT to die. I'm just saying that I know its a reality and I am willing to face that.
In the mean time, I will TRY to be happy, positive and perky. I will try to live life the way I want. I will enjoy my kids, my husband, my friends and the rest of my family with the same attitude I always have. Now that treatment is over with it will likely be a lot easier.
In other news, I am back to work at the end of the month. Its a job that I don't really want at a call center for Rogers (ya... I hate those people too and now I am going to be one of them LOL). But I think it will be a nice change for me. I really am looking forward to getting out of the house and meeting new people and getting back to a regular schedule. I know that a job is what you make of it, so I am going to start prepping myself and make myself feel like this IS the job I want and it can lead me to something greater.
Also, I had my jury duty date changed, so now I will be going in next Monday and it should be an interesting day. I hear the selection is a long and boring process and I should bring some books. I went to the library and checked out "Buddha Mom: The Path of Mindful Mothering" by Jacqueline Kramer. I have no idea if its any good so I will start reading it this week. It looks interesting though.
Anywho, off to feed the kiddos and maybe go play in the snow.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Back From Hiatus
Just a quick update to let you all know I'm still here! :-)
The past few months I haven't been doing so great. I'm trying really hard to keep a positive attitude, but some days my grumpiness gets the better of me. I haven't been spending a lot of time online, nor have I been getting out too much.
However, Wayne and I did get out this weekend to see the Trews at the London Music Hall. It was an AWESOME show and we had so much fun. With the weather being pretty freakish lately, Wayne hasn't been around much. He is always out plowing the snow -- London has had about 70cm so far (something like that anyway). But I think that the concert on Friday was a nice break for both of us.
I'm really looking forward to the end of my treatment which is supposed to be January 31st. I can't wait to feel normal again. I hope my memory will come back once I'm done because holy poop... I can't remember ANYTHING! It's really quite frustrating.
Brooklyn and Annabelle are both doing really well. They're always so happy and so full of energy. If it wasn't for them, I don't know that I'd ever pull myself out of bed. They really keep me going and keep me feeling up on my shittier days.
Brooklyn is so cute with Christmas this year. She is constantly asking for boots, a ball, blocks and a little ball for Annabelle. She gets very excited about Santa, but when we went to the LondonMoms Christmas Party she went into a total panic attack and wouldn't go near Santa at all, neither would miss Annabelle. Wayne and I had to hold the girls beside Santa to get the photo taken. I think its pretty cute! :-)
The past few months I haven't been doing so great. I'm trying really hard to keep a positive attitude, but some days my grumpiness gets the better of me. I haven't been spending a lot of time online, nor have I been getting out too much.
However, Wayne and I did get out this weekend to see the Trews at the London Music Hall. It was an AWESOME show and we had so much fun. With the weather being pretty freakish lately, Wayne hasn't been around much. He is always out plowing the snow -- London has had about 70cm so far (something like that anyway). But I think that the concert on Friday was a nice break for both of us.
I'm really looking forward to the end of my treatment which is supposed to be January 31st. I can't wait to feel normal again. I hope my memory will come back once I'm done because holy poop... I can't remember ANYTHING! It's really quite frustrating.
Brooklyn and Annabelle are both doing really well. They're always so happy and so full of energy. If it wasn't for them, I don't know that I'd ever pull myself out of bed. They really keep me going and keep me feeling up on my shittier days.
Brooklyn is so cute with Christmas this year. She is constantly asking for boots, a ball, blocks and a little ball for Annabelle. She gets very excited about Santa, but when we went to the LondonMoms Christmas Party she went into a total panic attack and wouldn't go near Santa at all, neither would miss Annabelle. Wayne and I had to hold the girls beside Santa to get the photo taken. I think its pretty cute! :-)
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Jury Duty
Wayne and I have both recieved Jury Summons. He goes on the 15th and I go one week later on the 22nd.
Its weird how some people never get summoned for jury duty, and then others get it frequently. I don't want to get out of it, because I think it could be interesting... or at least a break from life's other little problems. :)
Its weird how some people never get summoned for jury duty, and then others get it frequently. I don't want to get out of it, because I think it could be interesting... or at least a break from life's other little problems. :)
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Most Recent Check Up
Friday I had an appointment with my oncologist Dr. Ernst. This doctor is wonderful. He actually takes the time to listen to you and answers your questions in a very compassionate way. I love that I have doctors who are in their line of work for what seems to be the right reason: to help us sick people out.
I checked in at the receptions desk and got my blood work done as per usual -- these are monthly visits that I am now very used to.
I was feeling very anxious because I was worried about my dad and Jacqui being very ill in China, so waiting in the waiting room for 2 hours was quite daunting. I busied myself with eating cookies, drinking tea and going for walks around the clinic. Also, I had run into my ex-boyfriends mom (whom I just adore), and we got to chat for a while and catch up on whats going on in every one's lives.
Once it was my turn to go in, I sat and chatted with my nurse, Lisbet. She has been so incredible through this journey. Just as all of the nurses and doctors I've had the pleasure to meet over the last year or so. She let me complain about some of the yuckies in my life and REALLY listened. It helped me a lot.
Once Dr. Ernst came in, he told me that my blood work was "pristine". So the Interferon is not affecting my body too badly. Liver, kidneys, etc are all perfectly functional. I blame it on the green tea.
My mental health seems to be getting better everyday. As long as I take care of myself by eating, drinking, sleeping, getting outside and exercising I will go no where but up from here.
I've learned to allow myself to be angry when I'm feeling angry, cry when I feel sad and laugh when something is funny. As long as I live my life in balance, I will be OK! :)
Finally, I remembered to ask my doctor how they test to see if the chemo worked. He told me that it won't come back if the treatment worked. So I am THRILLED there are no more invasive surgeries to go through. So lets hope I don't have anymore cancer! :)
Also, the end date of my treatment is January 31st. So basically only 3 months left!!!! I'm counting down the days, and I am SO excited!
I checked in at the receptions desk and got my blood work done as per usual -- these are monthly visits that I am now very used to.
I was feeling very anxious because I was worried about my dad and Jacqui being very ill in China, so waiting in the waiting room for 2 hours was quite daunting. I busied myself with eating cookies, drinking tea and going for walks around the clinic. Also, I had run into my ex-boyfriends mom (whom I just adore), and we got to chat for a while and catch up on whats going on in every one's lives.
Once it was my turn to go in, I sat and chatted with my nurse, Lisbet. She has been so incredible through this journey. Just as all of the nurses and doctors I've had the pleasure to meet over the last year or so. She let me complain about some of the yuckies in my life and REALLY listened. It helped me a lot.
Once Dr. Ernst came in, he told me that my blood work was "pristine". So the Interferon is not affecting my body too badly. Liver, kidneys, etc are all perfectly functional. I blame it on the green tea.
My mental health seems to be getting better everyday. As long as I take care of myself by eating, drinking, sleeping, getting outside and exercising I will go no where but up from here.
I've learned to allow myself to be angry when I'm feeling angry, cry when I feel sad and laugh when something is funny. As long as I live my life in balance, I will be OK! :)
Finally, I remembered to ask my doctor how they test to see if the chemo worked. He told me that it won't come back if the treatment worked. So I am THRILLED there are no more invasive surgeries to go through. So lets hope I don't have anymore cancer! :)
Also, the end date of my treatment is January 31st. So basically only 3 months left!!!! I'm counting down the days, and I am SO excited!
I Don't Even Know What To Call This
To sum up the events of the last month or so will be a hard thing to do.
As I continue on this journey to fight cancer, I realized I do need to stay on this treatment. It will be the best thing I can do for my health. I continue to get a lot of exercise, drink a lot of water, eat a lot of food and try and keep myself as healthy as I can so that I am able to care for my babies.
I've given in to my anxiety and am back on my medications to help me through this rough patch. So now, I am currently on Interferon and Clobazam. The anti-depressant is totally out of the picture, because I just didn't need it. It was making me super crazy... just ask anyone who spoke to me in the last 6 months! LOL
First of all, my mom has two cats, Tux and Taz. They are probably two of the sweetest cats I've ever come across. They are big and fat and full of love. My dear brother had them under his care for the last year because we just didn't have the room to take them in when my mom moved in.
Taz is a little bugger and ran away. He was missing for nearly a month. Just last weekend we got a phone call from the vet saying that he had been found. He was in very bad condition. I will spare the details because it is just so heartbreaking.
When we saw him at the vet emerg, he was in rough shape. He had lost more than half of his body weight and we were told that he should be put down. We couldn't do that. Even though we didn't have the funds to get him the care he needed, we wanted to at least get him cleaned up and show him some love. After the month he endured, a little bit of love was the best thing for him.
He is now recovering so very well. He's slowly gaining weight, he has no fleas or infections. He just has to go to the vet everyday to get his bandages changed. He is in minimal pain because the nerve endings have just gone numb.
Taz has a guardian angel who has helped us out tremendously with the cost of the vet bills. (You know who you are and your greatness astounds me!!) If it wasn't for this lovely woman, who knows what would have happened.
My moms other cat Tux, has now moved into the house as well. Both cats are here, both cats are adjusting, and my mom is so happy to have her kitties home so she can care for them properly.
That brings me to my next icky event.
My dad and his girlfriend Jacqui are in China working on a business deal. As soon as the plane landed, my dad got very very sick. He is now in Shenzen in the hospital with pneumonia. It was getting very bad and I was very worried that he wasn't going to be ok. The latest news on that is that his temperature is gone and he seems to be fighting just as much as Taz. He will be stuck in the hospital for the next week or so until the infection clears up.
I spoke to him on the phone tonight and he sounded good. I think the more he hears from me and my brother the better he will do. Its tough for him to talk very much because he gets very easily winded but he likes to hear our voices and I think it really lifts his spirits.
Now, onto some good news.
I have the most incredible friends and family. I have a support system that is so unbelievable! My precious LondonMoms have saved my life... again. They formed a secret facebook group and got some money, groceries and toys for the girls. Since they knew Wayne and I were struggling, they all came together and put together the most incredible care package anyone could ever ask for. Wayne, the girls, my mom and I don't have to worry about food or bills for a long time. These women blow my mind.
This community is so fantastic to be a part of. An online community that comes together this way is just so unbelievable. I truly believe I have found some of the most incredible people on the face of the earth by joining this online community. There is NO way I can express my gratitude for everything that has been done, be it donating money, food, toys, clothes, a shoulder to lean on.
I will never be able to thank these women enough.
My dear friend Shannon came over the other day (and by came over, I mean, she RAN 5kms) with cheese and mayonnaise. It doesn't sound like much. But it was so helpful. We were able to make nice sandwiches for the girls on a day where we just couldn't afford to go to the grocery store. She also just let me talk her ear off. She is an amazing friend, amazing person and she will never know how much she means to me.
I have another friend, Sarah, who was the maid of honour at our wedding. She is incredible. She always seems to know exactly what I need and that is company. 11:00 at night, she gets in her car and comes over to just keep me company. I drank wine while her and I looked back on silly high school memories. It was exactly what I needed at that exact moment and I wish there was a way to explain how awesome it is to have a friend like that.
Vanessa, she took me out for Chinese food the other night. Best Chinese food I've ever had. Vanessa doesn't even know me that well, and still takes time out of her busy schedule just to give me a nice night out.
Leigh - I have no words. You're an amazing woman. What you've done is just, shocking. You have SO much on your plate but you still make time to help out a struggling family. Organizing this is just... I can't even express myself.
THESE are good friends! I feel SO lucky to have them in my life.
As I continue on this journey to fight cancer, I realized I do need to stay on this treatment. It will be the best thing I can do for my health. I continue to get a lot of exercise, drink a lot of water, eat a lot of food and try and keep myself as healthy as I can so that I am able to care for my babies.
I've given in to my anxiety and am back on my medications to help me through this rough patch. So now, I am currently on Interferon and Clobazam. The anti-depressant is totally out of the picture, because I just didn't need it. It was making me super crazy... just ask anyone who spoke to me in the last 6 months! LOL
First of all, my mom has two cats, Tux and Taz. They are probably two of the sweetest cats I've ever come across. They are big and fat and full of love. My dear brother had them under his care for the last year because we just didn't have the room to take them in when my mom moved in.
Taz is a little bugger and ran away. He was missing for nearly a month. Just last weekend we got a phone call from the vet saying that he had been found. He was in very bad condition. I will spare the details because it is just so heartbreaking.
When we saw him at the vet emerg, he was in rough shape. He had lost more than half of his body weight and we were told that he should be put down. We couldn't do that. Even though we didn't have the funds to get him the care he needed, we wanted to at least get him cleaned up and show him some love. After the month he endured, a little bit of love was the best thing for him.
He is now recovering so very well. He's slowly gaining weight, he has no fleas or infections. He just has to go to the vet everyday to get his bandages changed. He is in minimal pain because the nerve endings have just gone numb.
Taz has a guardian angel who has helped us out tremendously with the cost of the vet bills. (You know who you are and your greatness astounds me!!) If it wasn't for this lovely woman, who knows what would have happened.
My moms other cat Tux, has now moved into the house as well. Both cats are here, both cats are adjusting, and my mom is so happy to have her kitties home so she can care for them properly.
That brings me to my next icky event.
My dad and his girlfriend Jacqui are in China working on a business deal. As soon as the plane landed, my dad got very very sick. He is now in Shenzen in the hospital with pneumonia. It was getting very bad and I was very worried that he wasn't going to be ok. The latest news on that is that his temperature is gone and he seems to be fighting just as much as Taz. He will be stuck in the hospital for the next week or so until the infection clears up.
I spoke to him on the phone tonight and he sounded good. I think the more he hears from me and my brother the better he will do. Its tough for him to talk very much because he gets very easily winded but he likes to hear our voices and I think it really lifts his spirits.
Now, onto some good news.
I have the most incredible friends and family. I have a support system that is so unbelievable! My precious LondonMoms have saved my life... again. They formed a secret facebook group and got some money, groceries and toys for the girls. Since they knew Wayne and I were struggling, they all came together and put together the most incredible care package anyone could ever ask for. Wayne, the girls, my mom and I don't have to worry about food or bills for a long time. These women blow my mind.
This community is so fantastic to be a part of. An online community that comes together this way is just so unbelievable. I truly believe I have found some of the most incredible people on the face of the earth by joining this online community. There is NO way I can express my gratitude for everything that has been done, be it donating money, food, toys, clothes, a shoulder to lean on.
I will never be able to thank these women enough.
My dear friend Shannon came over the other day (and by came over, I mean, she RAN 5kms) with cheese and mayonnaise. It doesn't sound like much. But it was so helpful. We were able to make nice sandwiches for the girls on a day where we just couldn't afford to go to the grocery store. She also just let me talk her ear off. She is an amazing friend, amazing person and she will never know how much she means to me.
I have another friend, Sarah, who was the maid of honour at our wedding. She is incredible. She always seems to know exactly what I need and that is company. 11:00 at night, she gets in her car and comes over to just keep me company. I drank wine while her and I looked back on silly high school memories. It was exactly what I needed at that exact moment and I wish there was a way to explain how awesome it is to have a friend like that.
Vanessa, she took me out for Chinese food the other night. Best Chinese food I've ever had. Vanessa doesn't even know me that well, and still takes time out of her busy schedule just to give me a nice night out.
Leigh - I have no words. You're an amazing woman. What you've done is just, shocking. You have SO much on your plate but you still make time to help out a struggling family. Organizing this is just... I can't even express myself.
THESE are good friends! I feel SO lucky to have them in my life.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Here is a tough night.
Lately life has felt like a pretty big struggle.
I'm back on my chemo after a fairly long break (started up about a week ago). I'm sitting here wanting to write, but not knowing what to say. My needle is beside me and I know that I should just get it over with but everytime I think about it or look at it, I get a rush of anxiety.
Tonight I think I need a friend to talk to and remind me why I am doing this. (My kids, my husband, my parents, my whole family, my friends, my health, my contentment, my well-being - which in turn will lead to my kid's well-being)
The hard part is over. This should be easy. It shouldn't be such a struggle right now. I should just DO IT! Get it over with.
I'm back on my chemo after a fairly long break (started up about a week ago). I'm sitting here wanting to write, but not knowing what to say. My needle is beside me and I know that I should just get it over with but everytime I think about it or look at it, I get a rush of anxiety.
Tonight I think I need a friend to talk to and remind me why I am doing this. (My kids, my husband, my parents, my whole family, my friends, my health, my contentment, my well-being - which in turn will lead to my kid's well-being)
The hard part is over. This should be easy. It shouldn't be such a struggle right now. I should just DO IT! Get it over with.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Today I Got Creative
Wayne came home from work and, as per usual, he took his dirty work boots off in the dining room after trailing dirt in from outside.
I've stopped nagging him about it, but that didn't seem to make a difference. So I took my mother-in-laws advice and started making signs.
He hasn't seen them yet because as soon as he got home he had to go out again. I thought I would get creative with what I had on hand which were the kids markers and construction paper.
Whats more annoying? A sign you see all the time? Or me constantly repeating myself? I guess we'll find out! :)
I've stopped nagging him about it, but that didn't seem to make a difference. So I took my mother-in-laws advice and started making signs.
He hasn't seen them yet because as soon as he got home he had to go out again. I thought I would get creative with what I had on hand which were the kids markers and construction paper.
Whats more annoying? A sign you see all the time? Or me constantly repeating myself? I guess we'll find out! :)
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| Dirty boots in the dining room.. |
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| "Holy Halloween" - Notice the hole behind the picture. Its been like that for over a year now. |
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Annabelle Turned ONE!!
Annabelle's birthday today was a blast! This girls and I had so much fun all day. We started out by singing "HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANNABELLE" all morning long. We got them all dressed up in their party dresses and we played around all day.
My mom took Brooklyn for a walk to the mailbox to send out some mail and on their way home they ran into the mail carrier who just happened to have a few big packages for us to open. They were birthday gifts for miss Annabelle from Wayne's parents and they were super cute! She got a new bath toy book, a ball and a Dora the Explorer Ty beenie baby!
All in all it was an incredible day and I think everyone really enjoyed it!
Actually, maybe not. Annabelle got a new winter hat, that I'm pretty sure she was none to impressed with. But I think its super cute! :)
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| Bubbles are always so much fun! |
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| Chocolate cake is even more fun! |
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| Daddy's Girls! |
When Wayne got home from work he went out to grab some hot and ready pizzas and a birthday cake. While they were out, I ran down to the basement and got some of our birthday decorations we happened to have on hand. My dad and his girlfriend stopped in for cake and we all had a nice time opening some gifts and watching Annabelle eat the most sugar she has ever seen. It was priceless!
All in all it was an incredible day and I think everyone really enjoyed it!
Video of Annabelle's First Birthday Cake
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| Crazy cake faces!! Mmm Good choice on the cake by the way Wayne! |
Actually, maybe not. Annabelle got a new winter hat, that I'm pretty sure she was none to impressed with. But I think its super cute! :)
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| I guess she didn't want the hat to give her hat head and ruin her pig tails |
Monday, September 20, 2010
Chemo Break
The biggest side effect from the treatment that I'm on is depression and anxiety. Well, I started an anti-depressant as a preventative in December even though I was feeling good at the time. I know I was high risk though because I was only 2 months post-partum and have a history of mild depression and anxiety as well.
So I started my treatments in mid-January (at the cancer clinic - 5 days/week, 3-8 hours/day, 4 weeks) and I got through that easy-peasy except that I was SO tired. Then, I had a small break after the four weeks were up. Six weeks later I started the low dose of this medication which is an injection I give myself at home 3 days a week (Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday - gives me a whole weekend of being drug free which is awesome).
Anyway, I guess my body is extremely sensitive to everything. The psych. Dr at the cancer clinic used the term, sensitive limbic system. Anything seems to make me a little crazy now and being on the anti-depressant was a bit much.
I'm sort of cleansing my system now and taking a break from all of my medications. Even my anti-seizure. I'm replacing it with green tea in the morning and chamomile in the evening. I even started growing my own chamomile tea.
I'm starting to feel a lot better, but I think I will have to do my shot again tomorrow. I will just push myself through the icky symptoms and get on with my life. But I think getting of the anti-depressant is a huge step in the right direction! :)
Also, I've come across a group called i[2]y. Which is the "I'm Too Young For This: Cancer Foundation". Its pretty great because I fit right into this category and also want to help others out who are in the same boat. With all my Steeped Tea stuff I have decided that the i2y cancer foundation is going to be a charity I support that way. I'm pretty stoked about it! :-)
So I started my treatments in mid-January (at the cancer clinic - 5 days/week, 3-8 hours/day, 4 weeks) and I got through that easy-peasy except that I was SO tired. Then, I had a small break after the four weeks were up. Six weeks later I started the low dose of this medication which is an injection I give myself at home 3 days a week (Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday - gives me a whole weekend of being drug free which is awesome).
Anyway, I guess my body is extremely sensitive to everything. The psych. Dr at the cancer clinic used the term, sensitive limbic system. Anything seems to make me a little crazy now and being on the anti-depressant was a bit much.
I'm sort of cleansing my system now and taking a break from all of my medications. Even my anti-seizure. I'm replacing it with green tea in the morning and chamomile in the evening. I even started growing my own chamomile tea.
I'm starting to feel a lot better, but I think I will have to do my shot again tomorrow. I will just push myself through the icky symptoms and get on with my life. But I think getting of the anti-depressant is a huge step in the right direction! :)
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Learning to Knit
So I've picked up my needles and yarn. I've read books and I've watched videos.
The book I've started with is called Knitting for Dummies and it seems prettty basic and easy right now. But I've always had trouble learning anything from a book. I always need to be shown how to do it so I can apply it.
So then I got some help from KnittingHelp.com and my cast-on started to look a lot more normal.
Since I started out using black acrylic yarn, it was sort of hard to see what I was doing, so I decided to switch to my Knit Picks yarn made of 75% cotton and 25% wool in an ivory colour.
The black was just a wee bit tough to start with, espcially since it was so dark in here last night. I can't seem to get past the casting off stage. Maybe now that it isn't so late and the sun is shining brightly I can figure this thing out.
So then I got some help from KnittingHelp.com and my cast-on started to look a lot more normal.
Since I started out using black acrylic yarn, it was sort of hard to see what I was doing, so I decided to switch to my Knit Picks yarn made of 75% cotton and 25% wool in an ivory colour.
The black was just a wee bit tough to start with, espcially since it was so dark in here last night. I can't seem to get past the casting off stage. Maybe now that it isn't so late and the sun is shining brightly I can figure this thing out.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Western Fair
This weekend my in laws took the girls and I to the fair. It was an amazing time. Now that Brooklyn is old enough to go on the rides she seemed to have a blast. Annabelle couldn't get enough of all the sights. My mother and father in law are both awesome for taking us. It really was a great day and I can't wait to go back again next year.
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| Brooklyn and I going down the super giant slide |
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| Annabelle getting her glitter tattoo |
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| After she got her face painted |
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| Annabelle and Grandma on the pony ride |
Friday, September 10, 2010
Social Networking
Trying to get the word out is tough man!
Follow me on Twitter
Add me to facebook (my profile)
Join my facebook group
Check out the new Steeped Tea blog.
xo
Jessica
Follow me on Twitter
Add me to facebook (my profile)
Join my facebook group
Check out the new Steeped Tea blog.
xo
Jessica
Thursday, September 9, 2010
New Blog
The link address is http://jessicastea.blogspot.com/ and I just spent about 3 hours trying to figure out blogspot so that a blog can look nice. It's not really done yet either but I'm pretty excited about getting this going.
"Steeped Tea" has their own website up and running of course and their link is simple http://steepedtea.com/
Anyway, it's 2:30 in the morning and I should probably get some sleep so I can get up early with the girls and still feel half decent. I think tomorrow we're having a playdate with the little girl who lives behind us. Should be a fun day! Hopefully the weather is half decent, but I don't mind having a relaxing day tomorrow if its not.
Hope you're having a wonderful September! :)
xo
Jessica
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Steeped Tea
I'm so excited about my new Steeped Tea Catalogues! I just got my first copies of them and they're wonderful.
I also read a review written about me which made me rather happy. It was on (of course) LondonMoms written by one of the women who help run the site.
If you are curious at all about Steeped Tea just send me an email or join my facebook group.
I am a firm believer in loose leaf teas as a "cure all". Nearly any ailment can be fixed or reduced by drinking lots of green and white tea. Well, except of course for insomnia, but that can be cured with camomile. I started selling tea because I needed money, now I sell it because I believe in the benefits that come along with it. I tell anyone and everyone to drink tea, even if they don't plan on buying it from me! :)
I also read a review written about me which made me rather happy. It was on (of course) LondonMoms written by one of the women who help run the site.
If you are curious at all about Steeped Tea just send me an email or join my facebook group.
I am a firm believer in loose leaf teas as a "cure all". Nearly any ailment can be fixed or reduced by drinking lots of green and white tea. Well, except of course for insomnia, but that can be cured with camomile. I started selling tea because I needed money, now I sell it because I believe in the benefits that come along with it. I tell anyone and everyone to drink tea, even if they don't plan on buying it from me! :)
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